Sex life with ADD ADHD and anxiety

Hi everyone, I'm new to  this site and was hoping to get some feedback on how to go about my current situation. My partner has ADD, ADHD and anxiety. At the beginning of the relationship everything was perfect. He paid attention to me, the smallest details, he went out of his way to make me smile and to satisfy my needs. As the relationship went on it seemed as if he was slowly losing interest in me. He was constantly distracted, not as affectionate, didn't want to have sex, touch, anything..(Unless we were out with other couples, then he'd be all lovely dovey and show me off) he threw himself into his work. Knowing that he has ADD, ADHD and anxiety I brought up how I was feeling about the lack of intimacy in our relationship (I'm lucky if I get laid twice a month...) and he got extremely apologetic telling me that he loves me and doesn't want to lose me and all that jazz. He told me that he gets distracted by stress of money and bills, things that he has to do and everything whenever getting intimate with me and that he actually has to force himself to have sex and he doesn't enjoy it and he basically does it so I'm happy... which kind of hurt. Even knowing that this is normal it still feels as if I'm not attractive to him anymore (I have actually shown up in lingere, heels, everything and have been rejected by him.), that he see's me just as a friend and is keeping me around just for the company. I want to have that intimacy level with him again and have a normal relationship where both of our needs are met because I'm getting fustrated to the point that I dont even know what to do anymore. I love this man with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him like I promised.. but I'm completely unsatisfied and don't know how to go about it at all. I just fake a smile and pretend that everythings okay because I hate the hurt I see in his eyes when I tell him the truth of how I'm feeling on this subject. 

He's on Ceriquill (or how ever you spell it) that he takes at night, I don't know if this has anything to do with his lack of libido. 
I want to do anything and everything I can to save my relationship and get back to being happy... Help, please!

I am so sorry you are going

I am so sorry you are going through all of this.  I too am having intimacy/sex issues with my ADHD husband.  For your particular situation I think you need to remember this is a marriage.  A partnership in every sense of the word.  You are not looking to be roommates with this person or "just friends".  You can't smile and pretend like things are fine forever.  You will just continue to be more hurt and eventually resentful towards him.

I think it's safe to say that your husband does have issues with sex/intimacy.  It could be related to his medication/ADHD/anxiety, or perhaps past experiences, or something else entirely that you're not aware of. 

He needs to seek counseling/therapy about these issues.  You may need to seek counseling or therapy for yourself for any issues this has caused you (self confidence, self image, depression, etc.).  Perhaps marriage counseling together?  If he is unwilling to seek help you may have some bigger decisions to make.  Like whether or not you want to stay in this marriage?

But before jumping off the deep end...

I think the place to start is to sit down with your husband & talk about starting therapy for these issues & see how he responds. You need to be honest & tell him how unhappy you've been & that you want to be close with him again in every way.