Sharing and giving

I would like to better understand what aspects of my relationship with my ADD husband are parts of his personality and what aspects are connected to his ADD.  My husband does not "give" of himself, gifts or reciprocate.  I tell him it's important to me. I share that not giving me gifts and telling me what gifts he wants and expects from me is hurtful. He thinks that buying something he wants and saying it's for me (when whatever it is is the last thing I'd want) is a gift.  He does not make love to me anymore (a handful of times in the 3 years we've been married). I fell in love with a man who was giving, attentive and enjoyed regular love making. That man is gone and blames me. It seems as if I want or need something and ask for it, he withholds the very thing I say I need.