Sharing positive stories about living with ADD

This weekend was crazy busy and as usual my ADD partner was completely oblivious to the fact that so much was going on and so much needed to be done. The reason for this is because he's distracted most days by all of the thoughts and 'stuff' floating around in his head/world. 

He's usually so distracted and 'busy' that he doesn't usually make time for me or for family functions (not happily, anyway) ;p

This weekend, though, my partner put his busy schedule and mind aside--- which is VERY hard for him to do--- and attended my nieces baptism and after party. He was a joy to be around and my little nephew who we haven't seen in months (10 month old) completely adored my ADD partner and brought lots of smiles to my partners usually serious face! The little boy actually had my partner down on the floor in his dress pants crawling and playing around! It was such a joy to see!!!

I'm very happy that my partner took time away from his projects and busy mind to enjoy a few hours with us.

I felt very grateful and totally in love with him in those moments!!!

He also saw that I was frantically cleaning the home on Saturday, more so than our usual "white board" chores, and decided to load the dish washer twice, and clean the kitchen counter tops, and also the bathroom downstairs (even though I had already done it-lol)!!! I was so happy and pleasantly shocked by this!!!

We also decorated the Christmas tree this weekend--- he enthusiastically participated, even though he's not at all interested in stuff like that! (because he could be doing something much more meaningful and productive with his time, of course) ;)

He really brought me glimpses of hope and joy this weekend. I know in my heart that a lot of the things he did this weekend we're for me... to make me happy and to ease my load a little. And that to me means the world!! :))

ebb and flow's picture

Rev, Sherri and all!!

I did it! I started a Forum topic about happy day to day stories with your ADDer!

Come on everyone!!! Share some positive stories with the rest of us...

Even if they're little successes... They add up!

:))

Thanks for doing it, Ebb- you're awesome!

My little positive "snapshot":

My husband picked up fresh white pine garland (which I love) and hung it around the windows of our great room.  I appreciate that he remembered how much I love the smell of fresh pine during the holidays and went out of his way to get real garland.  He also took ALL the kids out to get a X-mas tree, so that I could have a little time alone to rest.  When they came back, he had also picked up lunch for us all. Thanks, hubby.

ebb and flow's picture

rev

Really?!?! It's amazing he went out to get something *you* like for the holidays and took the kids out!

One of my fears about having kids with an ADDer is that I'd have to do EVERYTHING alone. This is proof that they can participate in things here and there. It's nice to think that maybe one day my ADD partner will take my kids tree shopping like my bro did with me! :))

Thanks for sharing, rev! :)

All I want for Christmas...

If you have followed my story..I have drawn a line in the sand. This Christmas reminded me of the things that made me fall on love with my adhder 20 years ago. We had no money for Christmas this year except for some my Mother in law had sent each of us. My son and I were okay with that. So I'll share what happened. We had a tree decorating party and invited our son's friends. It was so much fun. We put up two trees.

They didn't get finished, we were having too much fun decorating cookies, dancing singing laughing watching a movie. So we have two half decorated trees and hubby took our son to the mall to spend Christmas money from his Grandmother. So today I was just going to take it easy. Hubby wanted to take a family picture tomorrow so I asked him to go to the store to pick up some Mascara. (I know you ladies are thinking "are you outside your mind???") LOL

He comes home with the right brand, right color. A miracle really Christmas eve at Wally World in the cosmetics aisle.I GET overwhelmed there on a normal day.I cannot imagine what was going on in his head.

After dinner he calls us into the living room and hands us gift bags. My son gets a CD. I open mine. Fancy chocolates, Cinnabon popcorn, TWO eyeliners liquid and pencil... I look at hubby a little puzzled. It's the same brand as the mascara. He grins..uh you see, he says.." I bought both of those cuz I wasn't sure which kind of mascara you meant.. I said this isn't mascara..." He said ya, I realized that when I got home, so I went back and got the mascara and decided to give you these anyway. We both laughed. He braved the store TWICE to get me the right thing, and I got a bonus. LOL

The last gift.. A rechargeable electric razor. I had been asking for an emjoi all year. It's NOT a razor, it's a depilatory tool. He said..that's what you wanted right? I said no, but thank you..do you mind if I exchange it? He asked "Why do you want to exchange it?" I said "You bought me this LAST year."  I went to the bath and brought out the one he had bought last year. We both laughed again. 

Then he went out of the room and came back and handed our son a big bag. He opens it. A CD player radio, which  he wanted and totally didn't expect. We were both stunned. I asked, what about you? He said, I used the Christmas money my mom sent me for you guys. I opened the card he had gotten me. It said. All I want for Christmas is YOU! and out fell an FB gamecard. I didn't know what to say.  He said I love how delighted you get playing those games and I noted how frustrating it is for you to not be able to buy certain things, so there you go..happy farmville to you. 

I have no words right now.

Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story - I had tears in my eyes just reading your heart felt words. What a true Merry Christmas for you and your family!

The greatest gift.

A gift I waited all my life for.  We talked at length about his ADHD and my part in the mess of our marriage and life. This is the summation of we we said to each other.I finally get "it". I accept accountability for my own life. I acknowledge the truths about me and those I love. I'm taking charge of my own life, my own feelings. I own how people treat me. I forgive, no more resentment or anger. We can't change what we don't take responsibility for, we have to get real.

Christmas Day

I spent the day making a lovely dinner, it would only be the two of us, our son was going to be with his girlfriend. As I glazed the Berry filled pork loin, hubby grabs me and we dance to "All I want for Christmas "playing on the new CD player. He says you look beautiful today  like the snow Angel you made today. You hate the cold and I loved that you braved it to do that. He said I love you and I promise things will be different. I'm so sorry we lost each other.  He got an email saying he was one of the few chosen for the final job interview. He was dancing around so happy and excited. yes a wondeful Christmas full of promise and hope.

Topaz, what wonderful news!

Topaz, what wonderful news! Sounds like you and your husband have really made progress toward happiness - what a wonderful gift!  Thank you for sharing your happiness - it gives so much hope and strength to others working at their marriage.  Merry Christmas! 

waynebloss's picture

SWEET!!

Very nice and I am very happy for you! 

 

Wayne

ebb and flow's picture

Holiday Happiness

Our holiday went beautifully!!

My partner and I put up our tree, exchanged gifts and shared time with both our families--- No fights! :))

He tried to be as easy going as he possibly could with his social anxiousness. He did wonderfully! 

My favorite moments were at his parents home listening to stories until midnight about how brilliant a child he was growing up, about all the things he made that they kept, about a family trip they took to Disney Land-- some of their favorite memories of the kids... etc. They love him soo much and soo unconditionally! They spoke so highly of him! It truly helped me see him in their eyes... with pure love! They always speak about all his high achievements... Just beautiful. 

I think a part of my heart fell back in love with him Christmas night. <3

My partner is brilliant. He's an amazing person who finds it difficult to relate to this world. I don't want to make it any harder for him. I want to be the one person in his life who "gets it", who understands him. I want to be on his side. 

I'm going to try and make it happen because I love and care about him a great deal!

I was blessed to share a few beautiful days with my ADD partner... :))

So wondeful to hear!

It greatly saddened me to read the sad stories about the holidays some of the others had. So it was wonderful to hear yours. I too saw the wonderful things about my ADHD hubby at Christmas, and I am wondering if some issues are brought on for others by their previous experiences with holidays. I know mine just loves holidays, he tends to go crazy so I often have to rein him in on spending. 

Thanks for sharing and prayers for continued happiness.

ebb and flow's picture

My partner usually

My partner usually withdrawals every day so it was very nice to have him participate in the holiday festivities.

I don't really want to analyze why he does it. He just does. I would assume it's because there is a great deal going on in his mind and to retreat minimizes the overload. The holidays can be busy in every way, so I would assume that would be overwhelming for someone who's naturally got a busy mind. Also, my partner sort of suffers from social anxiety so coming to my family functions are a BIG DEAL for him. 

I'm so happy and grateful that he made it out to these functions and had a smiling face while out with us!

I have to keep reminding myself that if my partner is happy, I'm happy. :)

 

Keep the positive posts coming everyone!!! :))

This year was different

My husband (ADHD) usually waits until the last minute to buy gifts (Christmas, birthday, anniversary, etc) and when he gets them, they're something he wants me to have, not necessarily something I want (most likely it's purchased because it's on sale and for no other reason).  This year was different.  A few years ago I told him that I wanted a mommy bracelet (a ridiculously overpriced bracelet with my kids' names on it).  We both knew that we couldn't afford a $300+ bracelet, so I just added it to my wish list for the future.  Imagine my surprise when, on Christmas morning, I open a box with a "mommy bracelet" in it!  I wasn't sure what emotion to have -- happiness at the bracelet, anger that he spent so much, or what.  Until he told me that he made it.  He made it!  That means that he not only remembered that I wanted one, but he had to plan ahead of time to make this bracelet, get the beads, secretly measure my wrist, and sneak time away to make it (here I thought he was playing computer games when he was in his computer room!).  He even had our kids help him pick out what color beads they wanted next to their names.  I am so touched that he put that much effort in to this gift (and the bracelet is beautiful!).  I know that that wasn't easy for him.  And that's what makes the bracelet so special.  

RE-This year was different

Not sure to say WOW or what a blessing..I guess both would be appropriate ! I remember when I was getting married to my ex...he made bought wax rings and cast our wedding bands and engraved our name in each others ring. He also gave me a shell from our honey mood  cased in gold  pendant  for my birthday. I would never expect my hubby now to do anything like that and I'm good with that....I love him with all my heart and know he does me, but I want him to know it and show me. It makes me smile just reading your Christmas story...thanks for sharing :)