She noticed...

"Thanks for getting so much of the cooking and cleaning done over the last week or so...  I've just been so tired from the extra training getting ready for my new position at work."

 

Pb.

Pbartender's picture

What caught my attention

What caught my attention about it wasn't just the thanks for doing the cooking and the cleaning, but the acknowledgement that I'd made a sustained effort to do it without being asked, for her benefit, for an extended period.  I looking at it as a step in the right direction.

To give myself credit, I'd been keeping it up for longer than just the past week, but I don't think it really clicked with her until yesterday...  She was supposed to pick up DD from orchestra camp, but didn't wake up in time from her nap after work.  She was completely zonked and so I let her sleep, picked up DD, did the wash and cooked dinner before she woke up a couple hours later.

 

Pb.

Good for you! It sounds like,

Good for you! It sounds like, although the progress is infinitely slower than you'd like, all your hard work is starting to pay off and things are perhaps looking up. I have followed your journey just a little on this site and it makes me happy to see someone who seems like a genuinely good guy doing the hard work and making progress in the right direction. You seem so much more put together and content than a few weeks ago when I first read one of your posts.

Pbartender's picture

Thanks.  That means a lot... 

Thanks.  That means a lot...  From the inside out, it's sometimes hard to see how far you've come.

While I still have a way to go, I feel a lot closer to the guy I used to be, back before things started going bad.

 

Pb.

PB, I'm Gonna Gve You Some Tough Love

N not in the mean way.

What I want to say is this:

You absolutely must keep up the consistency.

There was the reward of her noticing today.

You must keep trudging forward on the days there is no reward.

I swear to Gawd, I would be entirely more motivated to "work things out", if my husband were capable of this.

Unfortunately, my husband's frustration tolerance is so low it's completely prohibitive.

Him being able to trudge through anything frustration related would make a world of difference.

Keep up the good work n keep on keep on keepin' on!

Keep up the good work, PB.  I

Keep up the good work, PB.  I know when my hubby does unexpected things around the house (washing the dishes, starting supper, cleaning up after himself), I'm ecstatic. I came home to all (OK, most...LOL) the dishes washed and all his dirty laundry picked up last week. I was so excited and I called him and thanked him for the effort.

As a woman and wife to an ADHDer, I try very hard to positively reinforce the helpful actions my hubby takes. I'm sure your wife is thinking along the same lines too. :-)