I have been together with my partner for four years and it has been really difficult time. I am just now trying to figure out if I should continue. During good times my partner is very sweet and caring. He has supported me throughout therapy and also regularly does me small gestures. It is also really nice to talk to him and he is definitely brilliant in his own way. The problem is, I am very demotivated to stay in our relationship. It feels to me, that it is a constant struggle. Lets start with his anger outbursts and problems accepting criticism. He used to throw things at me, when he got mad and could tell me very mean things. He has stopped doing this now, but I am not really trusting him completely in this regard. He also seems to have some issue with feeling easily disrespected. Small instance such as me asking him to take out the garbage can seem to him disrespectful because I am not doing these on my own. To continue, I do not even dare to go on a holiday with him because I am anticipating some big quarrel. We used to manage to get into fight every time we went somewhere. Usually it would start with him assuming that I had done something disrespectful such as not looked at him while we were conversing etc. This has also improved, but it still feels rather scary to go somewhere with him. Finally, he used to disappear on me when he was on work trips. It would happen that he would not contact me for a week. I sometimes called him once or twice, but when he did not pick up, gave up myself as well. He is still not superactive when he is in a foreign country to contact me, rather he keeps me waiting. Finally, he does his plans without consulting me. He booked his vacation without a word to me. When he is on his vacation, he is spending most of his time together with his friends families, finding rather little time for me. When I have tried to talk about getting our own children, he keeps telling me, that we are not ready and that the relationship is not good enough. At this point I am rather miffed. Should I continue because he is regularly sweet to me and makes me feel loved, or should I leave because he is rather unreliable and not really consistant with his sweetness. All advice welcome!