Emotional abuse may be the least recognizable (by others) form of spousal abuse...Putting it simply, it's the product of a person filling a vowed space in another person's life, w/ little to no concern for the needs of that person...It's total emotionless apathy...It's laziness and indifference toward their God given spousal responsibilities...People who are capable of this level of indifference or usually blindly self centered...When a mind is so dominated by "Me" thinking, that mind will never be fit for a healthy relationship that will always require awareness, and an ability to put, and keep, their spouse as their first priority...The reason this community of people exists is because there are minds and personalities that are completely incapable of ever having a healthy attachment...So the attributes endured by being on the other end of this behavior, draws us to a place for understanding and emotional support....I'm so thankful y'all have been here for the past 12 years....
Bless you all...
c
Thankful to you as well
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
This is so perfectly stated, c. Absolutely resonates with me. I hope it helps someone else earlier in their journey to gain clarity.
I am also very thankful for those on this forum who listened and guided me when it was hard to find understanding anywhere else. The wisdom and kindness of this community helped me through the hardest time in my life.
I hope you are doing okay and continue to find ways to fill your own cup.
Melody....Connections....
Submitted by c ur self on
You are one...I could feel your pain for years...Just wanting your person to love you, and your daughter, in healthy and honest way....Just wanting him to see himself, and what he had.....Your strength of heart to continue enduring even when your needs weren't being met, showed the power of your love and character....I've prayed for you, your daughter, and your husband...I admire your courage...I hope you are well also...
As for me, I have come to a crossroads....(I'm just tired of roaring the boat for two, one can't do it alone)....I'm of more value than that...It's been 16 years, I decided to quit attempting to encourage her, I decided to just STOP....Let her be the wife w/o my input...I think fear has kept me going, because I think I knew what would happen...We've had no connection in a month...Very little conversation....She is content to live like she is single....I've got an appointment w/ our marriage counselor Tuesday morning....I'm going to see what he thinks...Being alone is no problem, vs having a vowed spouse in the house and still being alone and abandoned....I'm just tired....
c
Heartbreaking to read
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
It breaks my heart to read this, c. Your boundaries and acceptance have been so inspiring, but you're still human and it makes sense you're at a crossroads if your cup has not been adequately filled for many years. You deserve connection and conversation. I completely relate to your roommate living situation. Eventually I also STOPPED... and you know... my husband didn't notice. In fact, I observed he actually became happier because I suddenly didn't have any needs, made no bids for his time, etc. It's very saddening. I hope you find peace.
Dear C
Submitted by Swedish coast on
I'm sorry that you feel abandoned. You have always been an inspiration on the forum and I appreciate your kind input in discussions.
I hope this will change into something better.
Thank you C
Submitted by J on
For all your support and wisdom when I really needed. Bless you.
J