I love my partner. I am madly in love with my partner. But the untreated ADD that she has is toxic. She recognises that her own worklife is affected, and admits that out of everyone in her life I am most hurt by it - but then, she'll take the meds to help her at uni, but not in general to help us out.
She talks to the doctor about what I can do to help our relationship and the ADD hurdle, but her ego is so fragile she will never ask what she can do. In fact, I heard her talking to the doctor on Skype about her not wanting me to mention the ADD and her doctor validated that was how my partner felt by saying, "yes, ahum", - but she told me that the doctor told her it was best that I dont mention ADD. Which is a lie, that hurt. But I didnt say anything I just said "ok", and i havent mentiuoned it since, because i want her to be happy.
I have been with her 2 years and we are engaged, but everyday I think about leaving her. She is unreliable. She doesnt take the ADD seriously. We can't talk. And she does things like, throw my stuff in the garbage because its convenient whilst she is on a rampant clean. 3 times she has spontaneously dropped her full time study - twice she dropped study to nil, and more recently she has dropped 75% of her study load. This has happened at the start of every year. She is project oriented - needs routine or feels completely hopeless. I love her to pieces but I can't hold my emotions together anymore - at first my emotions took a complete beating - but now i am almost emotionless.
I can't help that I love this person, everyone who knows me laughs at the fact i want this woman to wed me. They say she is good fun, but i cant trust her.
I'm so lonely because one second i am being smothered and the next week i am being completely ignored.
Is anyone else in my position????