So this came up again last night

in conversation re: when I feel hurt by him how do we resolve that.  I want to talk about it. He wants to forget that it ever happened. Actually he does forget bc as he often tells me Time for him is Now or Not Now. Nothing else exists. Whereas I remember every detail and if it is emotionally intense I remember it very vividly. This is a long standing intense conflict for us. Once again I found myself thinking that my ADD husband just isn't capable of imagining what it is like to be married to him and it is not possible for him to imagine my feelings. He believes that I am hurting and he is apologetic but he seems truly unable to imagine how he would feel if he were me. Is this typical for people with ADD? It feels like a lack of empathy which makes me nervous bc I have a history of abuse by a 1st husband who has no empathy no remorse and no conscience. So I freely admit that I am extra sensitive about this. Yet. as an empath it is so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of being unable to imagine how it would feel to experience another person's pain. I asked my husband how he would feel if I hurt him the way he hurt me. He was silent for a long time. I asked him to put himself in my shoes. He said he guessed he would probably feel hurt but he wasn't sure. He sounded almost a bit bewildered by the idea of trying to imagine what I was feeling.