We have been on an extended timeframe with family trips. My husband seems to only be interested in spending time with members of my family and although we use natural family planning methods, he is ignoring my time of infertility (aka the only days per month we can be intimate without having a baby). I will shortly have my period and then a few more weeks until we can be intimate again since we are being very careful to avoid pregnancy currently.
Its very hard to find the right times to discreetly enough be intimate since my family is so large and we all are in our beach week of vacation.
Is this part of the hyperfocus of ADHD? I love my family dearly and don’t get to see some of them much at all since they live overseas, but usually my husband is pretty much begging for physical intimacy the rest of the time and I make adjustments often to do it more for his sake, and I do enjoy it.
I think there should be a balance here. He just sees one thing at a time, but we need to see the big picture. One hour to be together doesn’t sound unreasonable to me.
Not wanting sex or wanting
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
Not wanting sex or wanting too much sex are both common problems with ADHD. My wife has a big problem of telling me to plan on having sex, only to not come to bed or make an excuse once she gets there. This is a big problem, given that I wind up wasting Cialis. I feel like Charlie Brown being suckered into trying to kick the football, knowing full well that Lucy is going to pull it away.
Regarding your situation, is there a reason you can't use birth control (including medication, condoms, IUDs, etc.)?
Actually, the NFP is very
Submitted by templedeer on
Actually, the NFP is very risky if you use condoms and you're fertile. If you're infertile, there's no point in using the condom on the first place, but if you're fertile, then it's risky because the condom could slip or break etc., and then a pregnancy could definitely occur. We're just not planning on that quite yet, which is why we are typically very careful with that. It's a long list of medical reasons why we don't use anything except NFP. I mean, it's the best thing for my health since it doesn't add anything that would mess with my hormones, etc., and my system is already something I have to take a lot of care for, for many reasons that I discuss with my doctor, to make the long story short.
Thank you for the fact about the strong or low interest in intercourse bit regarding ADD. :)
Risks....
Submitted by c ur self on
I can see how practicing birth control w/ your restrictions, and his distractions can be tricky in trying to hook up on the right days....In my opinion marital sex behind closed doors is no body's business, and is as natural as brushing your teeth....I hope he starts working w/ you....If he likes it like you say, he will....Especially if he goes w/ out it long enough because of his own lack of discipline....
c
Condoms
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
NFP is itself very risky. There's an old joke: What do you call a woman who uses the rythmning method? "Mom!" People often think they are not in fertile period only do discover they were wrong. So, yes, there is a point to using condoms when you think you are not in a fertile period--backup.
My wife and I used condoms for close to ten years without NFP. We did not have any unplanned pregnancies during that period.
There are also other non-hormonal options, such as IUDs.
I know. It’s mind boggling to
Submitted by templedeer on
I know. It’s mind boggling to everyone else that people could choose nfp with eyes wide open. I appreciate your input and concern, but it’s not something we’re open to changing due to medical and religious reasons. Long story short, no matter what we know about risk with nfp or convenience of birth control... we are sticking with it as is. I know it must sound insane. It probable even just sounds stupid, but we have educated ourselves and are open to those specific risks since they are best for my health. Long story there.
Again, it’s not that we’re not aware of 100 other options, but we have consciously chosen what we use and have studied it closely. We’ve use it for years now and avoided pregnancy successfully so far. You just have to have the strength to stick to the rules, no matter how inconvenient and frustrating that may be at times.
I did manage to get his attention though and enjoy some time together and then rejoin the family. ;)
Yes it's his tunnel vision....(Hyperfocus)
Submitted by c ur self on
Many of us deal with it in all walks of life....The biggest distraction for my wife is family members...Priorities and prioriizing time is a killer for her mind....Men don't change of course...If he loves sex most of the time, he loves it all the time..:)...Just like most of us....We use condoms, My suggestion to you is to take the bull by the horn and role one on him and enjoy yourself any time!...if you are sensitive to latex like my wife, there are no latex options....
There is more than one way to skin a cat....
Blessings
c
Please do not
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
Please do not write "skin a cat" after "no latex options"!
LOL
Submitted by c ur self on
I should have said...Latex free options...Also..."There is more ways than one to skin a cat" is a southern saying...It is also something I use to do on the overhead bar at the park in the 60's.....Where you pull your body through your arms, then back through....It has nothing to do w/ actual cats...LOL...In case someone was wondering...
c