So frustrated

I have been married for 14 years to adhd spouse. I am at my wits end... I am tired. So tired of being barked at, not listened to, and expected to be the one that "understands" and lets it go. We have two beautiful children and we are fighting more and more infront of them. Ugh, i cant seem to let it go. I am sick of the immaturity, the not hearing anything, and just childish thinking or behavior. He is 47, we went on vacation last week and he couldnt even pull himself together to make our trip non confrontational. Hes mad and i am mad. He wants physical attention from me and i want nothing that means i will have to touch him. How have other coped? Is this a losing battle. Am i going to be with someone who will be immature forever?