So frustrated

have come to my wits end with my passive husband. I have been catering to his need to feel loved and understood so much that I feel like I am the man/leader in this marriage. Am I stuck? Why should I reach out and take the lead again but this time in trying to fix this marriage. I would like to separate just so that I can have some peace and sanity. I would like for him to read men who love fierce women and reach out to godly men for counseling but he is okay with things as they are and tells me that he loves me( words words words with no action) and that I am free to go if I am so miserable and that he doesn’t blame me. On the other hand he tells me to stop making him out to be the bad guy and if I want to leave then leave but I have never loved him or cared about him, etc I just don’t feel like I should be loving him and living with him in understanding and that our roles are way to reversed to the point where I feel like I can’t be a woman meaning I can’t have feelings or needs etc. I am so ready to leave but have ordered your book and will see what it says but I am not at the point to where I can take the lead on anything right now.