Hi All, I’m new to this site and soooo happy I found it. My husband has add (still waiting for the full diagnosis though). Reading your comments and the blog feels like I’m not the only one struggling to understand what’s going on in my marriage. Sometimes it can be so confusing and crazy making I want to go out and never come back!
Now, there’s also something new I’m observing recently. Since I know my husband’s add I try to read a lot about it and be more understanding with his anger fits, or when he’s inconsiderate or blame shifting (which he does a lot plus being very defensive). But things don’t improve. On the contrary, if I don’t react to his anger by getting angry myself and try to deal with the situation in a constructive manner, he’s tantrums are even more frequent and it seems like he doesn’t try to fix anything any more. Just last night I ended up being the only one to apologize although my part in the fight was really small. He said he’s not yet ready to apologize himself and continues to avoid me since then (not speaking to me directly if he doesn’t have to). I know he’s currently a lot into reading about add too so maybe it’s just too much for him to accept the diagnosis and put our relationship first. Still, it’s heartbreaking for me and I feel so lonely and angry. Anyone knows this?
He started his therapy some time ago too, I hope it will help with the symptoms. He’s a very brave guy for not trying to run away from doctors ;), I know it’s not so obvious.