So very tired of it all

Hello. I am a non adhd spouse of an untreated man- we have been married for 22 long years. I just got yelled at because he forgot I had bought tickets to a concert at a local art gallery tonight- and besides that- I scheduled a birthday dinner for he and my son- and the next day- we are hosting the youth group at our house! How could I be so self centered to do all that? Literally all he has to do is show up these events but it’s apparently very problematic. Just one example of the millions of times I have been yelled at over the years. Not just yelled at but attacked personally. I am so selfish, ungrateful, hateful, angry, etc etc. He can’t keep track of anything, he never will initiate any activities with the family, so all the planning and carry out falls to me. And I’m so self centered. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that for the first time in several years he has worked full time this week. We have six kids- five in the home- and except for $200/wk for groceries- I pay all the bills. Until summer I was working two jobs, six days a week to pay for our three boys college tuition. I have bought the adhd marriage book, he agreed to read it but is reading at a very very slow pace. I’m just so tired.