There are many aspects of ADHD that I think can be managed, tolerated and worked-around. I have yet to have the privelage of going through Melissa's counseling sessions (financially strapped). Until then, here are a few out of the MANY issues I deal with with my ADHD spouse that I am looking for a workaround for. Anyone, including Melissa, found a solution to any of these?
1. Putting words in my mouth. It's been like a re-enactment of the tower of Babel. He listens poorly, and instead of listening to my actual words and processing them for what they are, he ASSUMES extra or wrong meanings ALL THE TIME. Add to this he is forgetful and often forgets ENTIRE thorough conversations and agreements, it seems. So, I have experienced that he is not a man of his word. This has led me to not being able to trust him, rely on him, depend on him, or count on him to keep his commitments, promises or agreements. Even ones I've harped on and discussed with him MULTIPLE MULTIPLE times because he IS ADHD. Later, when the **** hits the fan, he claims I said this or that, for him to go here, do that, put it there, take the kids here, etc. He is forgetful in general so I can't rely on him to ever follow through. But this is a more specific concern of the fact that I have this insane-making spouse constantly arguing with me and claiming I said this or that about logistics, my opinion on something, what I wanted to do, where I wanted him to go, or something like that. Often his assumptions create major havoc and anger and rage too at this point because I'm looking at him like, Are you serious? This again? I so DID NOT say that!!! And then he argues (as if he knows better than I do what I meant, said, or feel). I have a good clear head on my shoulders and a clear, fully functional brain and I am tired of my sanity being hijacked by what has become this insane-making parasite constantly ruining my day and then saying I told him to with various bits of conversation he processed and then made an ASSUMPTION which he is KING of. I've begun to think it is like a mental shortcut that other ADHD people must do too to not have to actually think logically through step a b and c because that is too mentally taxing for them. It's hard for anyone to see how this could become almost UNBEARABLE unless you've actually experienced it over time. Anyone else feel me on this one? You end up arguing all day every day about what you said with someone who is like an annoying cling-on claiming you said things you never did and putting words and intents and opinions in your mouth as if they know better. IT"S BECOMING UNBEARABLE! I FEEL HE IS JUST ALWAYS AROUND IN MY LIFE, THERE IS NO WAY TO GET RID OF HIM DOING THIS, AND HE IS SLOWLY ROBBING ME OF MY SANITY! I'll post the rest in part 2 3 4 or whatever as separate posts for those of you that want to hear the rest of the list.