Someone please say you've been through this too...

I'm currently separated from my ADHD husband. 

When we met, he was a brilliant, fast paced thinker in a high-powered corporate job doing tech support. He loved it. I loved him. He was CLEARLY ADHD, but when I asked him about it, he said it had never affected his life, so he didn't ever look into a diagnosis. Our courtship was exactly what would be expected with an ADHD/planner couple. It was fabulous.

About six months after we got married, he saw a friend with ADHD go through loss of health insurance, and subsequently his Adderall. The resurgence of this friend's ADHD symptoms (he also works with my husband) led my husband to think that he was in exactly the same frame of mind, only he had never been medicated. 

Instead of pursuing a diagnosis with a doctor, he immediately contacted a drug dealer, and started spending $2000-$3000 (almost all of our money) a month on whatever form of ADHD meds he could get his hands on. He felt that he knew everything about medicating, having researched it online, and it was a nightmare rollercoaster that depended entirely on his impulse control and how much money he could siphon out of our paycheck before I got the bills paid. I didn't know what was going on - he never told me - I actually thought it was an affair. But, a relative of mine suggested drug use, so I packed up the kids and took off one morning before he knew what was going on. I called his doctor and told them I suspected drug abuse, and my husband went in for a drug dependency evaluation. I never found out the results - he assured me it was all fine, but also told his doctor not to speak to me anymore. For a month he refused to speak directly about what was happening, but at my urging, he got a formal diagnosis and I moved myself and the kids back in.

His doctor switched him from dose to dose to dose, changing his regimen every two weeks or so. This went on for 3 months before I realized what was happening - he was getting a 60 day scrip for the maximum dose allowed by our insurance, and he was running out of, or "losing" a bottle of Adderall at a rate that meant he was taking anywhere from 100-200 mg of Adderall a day. When I tried to talk to his doctor about it, my husband reacted with rage. I contacted my parents, and 3 weeks later we left.

Now I'm filing for separation to protect myself and my boys financially and physically. My husband's family and friends have effectively disowned him - he has gotten help packing our old apartment into storage, and a friend got him a rental car. He is arriving in my hometown tomorrow with a job offer, but nowhere to live and no actual form of transportation.

I have no idea what to do from here.