Soooo angry!!

"Just me again...Im sooo angry.  He acts like everything is just great and we all know it is for him.  Found out last night that when we went to the halloween party and I went to start the truck with the understanding he would be right out that he wasnt helping clean up, he was partying with strippers!!!  How great Im sitting in the truck for an hour (is response was "it was only 45 min, not an hour") waiting for him and he is partying.  Nice to see how much I was wanted!!!!  I dont even matter anymore and neither do my feelings.

He is still talking to his ex and various other chicks....every freaking song he listens to during his "down time" (the hours he spends in the bedroom blasting music) are about the one he loves that is so far away or the one that he left or the one he wants but cant have.  Makes me want to gag!!!  I live in a 12x60 trailer, I cant get away from it!!!  He is going downstate for the holiday, but there has been no mention of me going.  So I will sit here by myself for 5 fun.  I have no family here and no friends so its not like I can call anyone up and say hey come on over.

Yeah I know Im feeling sorry for myself, but this just totally sucks!!!  Someone give me some direction here.....