Anger and EL have been discussed in another thread on this forum.
I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am today. It is EXTREMELY difficult to sort out my nurturing spirit and my propensity to be co-dependent. And my stubborn unwillingness to let go of my very troubled marriage.
Al-Anon - my Dad and my spouse's grandparents
Family history of depression - me - for several generation back
Cherry Boone O'Neill: Starving for Attention - me
National Eating Disorder Association - me
John Bradshaw: Family Secrets and Healing the Shame that Binds You - me and my spouse
Melody Beattie: Co-Dependant No-More - me, me, me
Cloud & Townsend: Boundaries - me
Scott Wetzler: Living with the Passive Aggressive Man - me
Melissa Orlov: The ADHD Effect on Marriage - my spouse's ADHD
Harriet Lerner: The Dance of Anger - me and my spouse
Hoarding - my spouse
Gary D. Chapman: The Five Love Languages - us
It is the identifying process that has tripped me up many-a-time. How to know. Have you heard the old story: "My child has a stomach ache. I called my mother and she said, 'How much candy do you let him have today?' I called my counselor and she said, 'Has there been any emotionally troubling problems at home today or did he possibly watch a scary TV show?' I called my pediatrician and she said, 'Go straight to the ER. He probably has appendicitis.' "
Yep, perception. Yep, I spent many years - from ages 18 - 35 - untangling my early life. Then I spent the next 15 years trying to figure out why all my work was not applying to my marriage. I have spent the past 5 years being tired of trying to understand anything else - at all. I am living that quote from It's a wonderful Life: "Help me, Clarence, please. Please! I want to live again! I want to live again. I want to live again. Please, God, let me live again." ~George Bailey?