Sorting it all out - Anger, Passive-Aggressive, and Emotional Lability

Anger and EL have been discussed in another thread on this forum.

 I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am today.  It is EXTREMELY difficult to sort out my nurturing spirit and my propensity to be co-dependent.  And my stubborn unwillingness to let go of my very troubled marriage.

Al-Anon - my Dad and my spouse's grandparents

Family history of depression - me - for several generation back

Cherry Boone O'Neill: Starving for Attention - me

National Eating Disorder Association - me 

John Bradshaw:  Family Secrets and Healing the Shame that Binds You - me and my spouse

Melody Beattie:  Co-Dependant No-More - me, me, me

Cloud & Townsend:  Boundaries - me 

Scott Wetzler:  Living with the Passive Aggressive Man - me

Melissa Orlov:  The ADHD Effect on Marriage - my spouse's ADHD

Harriet Lerner:  The Dance of Anger - me and my spouse

Hoarding - my spouse

Gary D. Chapman:  The Five Love Languages - us 

It is the identifying process that has tripped me up many-a-time.  How to know.  Have you heard the old story:  "My child has a stomach ache.  I called my mother and she said, 'How much candy do you let him have today?'  I called my counselor and she said, 'Has there been any emotionally troubling problems at home today or did he possibly watch a scary TV show?'  I called my pediatrician and she said, 'Go straight to the ER.  He probably has appendicitis.' "

Yep, perception.   Yep, I spent many years - from ages 18 - 35 - untangling my early life.  Then I spent the next 15 years trying to figure out why all my work was not applying to my marriage.  I have spent the past 5 years being tired of trying to understand anything else - at all.  I am living that quote from It's a wonderful Life:  "Help me, Clarence, please. Please! I want to live again! I want to live again. I want to live again. Please, God, let me live again." ~George Bailey?