Here we go again...
DH started Concerta in Oct 2010...by Dec I was ready to leave. It made him extremely irritable and hostile. I don't know how else to describe it other than it made him defensive and took away his willingness to accept any fault for our problems and he also stopped saying "I'm sorry" when he really needed to.
He switched to Vyvanse in Dec 2010 and by mid-Feb we were once again in a very bad state...same issues as with the Concerta...and he only stopped taking it after I walked out on a counseling session telling our counselor if I ever came back, I would come by myself...so she could help me through my divorce.
He stopped the meds that day...crashed...and spent the next year in the den self-medicating. He had been self-medicating for the year prior to this as well...so when he wanted to try stimulant meds again a couple of months ago I had hoped that the self-medicating was part of the reason for the hostility and irritability the other times he tried them and that this time would be different.
He got clean in Feb 2012 and had been doing wonderfully with just trazodone and vistaril to help him sleep at night. As I said, he wanted to try another stimulant medication and his shrink insisted I come in with him to report what I was seeing...due to his history of self-medicating (addiction, for all intents and purposes) and due to his history of hostility and personality changes in the past when he used them.
I think he did a wonderful job convincing me (controlling his anger) prior to the appointment because immediately following the appt I saw the same hostility and anger as before reappear. To be clear, there is no other way to describe it other than it just changes him. He (non-medicated) isn't hostile or angry...or defensive. If he slips and says something...snaps at me over something for whatever reason, he immediately says he's sorry. I had accepted that he would always have 'brake' problems and had grown to overlook the occasional snappiness. This is totally different. And no apology is ever forthcoming.
He is due to go back to the shrink Wed to talk to him about increasing his dosage. He takes 10mgs twice a day. From all I can tell, this is a low dosage. Is it possible that is the problem? I told him last night that I hate the person he becomes when he takes meds...I'm getting the same nauseating "you just cannot accept me for who I am" and "I will just never be able to live up to your expectations" He has done two very hurtful things in the past week alone...we hadn't fought in 4-5 months...before he started meds. :(
Anyone irritable when your dosage is too low?? I almost dread him getting a higher dosage...I fear his temper will only get worse. Is there any hope for him and stimulant meds?
Also, he quit his trazadone (anti-depressant) without talking to his doctor...a few days ago. He (and his shrink) said it was ONLY to help him sleep, such a low dosage that it wouldn't effectively be enough to be considered depression treatment...therefore, he said, he didn't need to wean from it. I wonder if the behavior I'm seeing this week isn't directly related too. He claimed he felt bad physically...that's why he stopped...and was just certain it was that medication. Before starting the adderall, he claimed he felt better than he had in years. I am very disappointed that he stopped the meds without discussing it with his doctor first. :(