Had a brief vacation w kids and spouse that ended up pleasant- tho w a rocky start. Spouse had a la adhd moment in that he did not pack but worked up til last second and then became /verbally abuse when pushed (we have to leave NOW!). But it pulled together and we had some fun. I asked at a better moment that we (kids and I) seek more stability- that if he needs to go out twice a week to decompress (yes, get drunk- he is alcoholic ImHO) then please be home the other three nights early enough so we can function better w all that needs to be done. We hugged, he said he would try. This week: out monday as agreed but then again yesterday. Came in late drunk again, I was up and upset. No angry, feeling fed up yet know that to approach him would not help. I did get mad though and told him to get help, like AA. This am he states (as he is ready to run out door by 6am) that I cursed at him last night and he was not going to argue w me. He said he felt suffocated by my request to be home by 7:30 three nights a week though I stress this is for kids sake as well. We all love him, yet he will still revert to blaming me as the root cause- as well as work. I guess writing this I see that there is not much I can do to change that situation beyond continue without him. Yes, I hear DF telling me to stop. The problem is that my sweet husband keeps popping up amongst the jerky behavior.