We've had such a stressful two years while my husband (he has ADHD) was very ill. He's now recovering. While ill he didn't drink any alcohol. Now when he feels stressed out he'll have a drink and it only takes a very small amount for him to get "buzzed." I think in his mind he's thinking that he's only had two drinks so how could I possibly be upset? If he calls me on the way home from work I can tell on the phone if he's stopped for a drink -- the tone of his voice changes and he speaks in a sloppy way, not quite slurred but almost. At these times I don't know what his blood alcohol level is but if I can tell over the phone that's he's had a drink, I don't think it bodes well if he got pulled over.
I have approached the issue directly and very firmly -- one time his answer was that the place he stopped at was only two blocks away. What kind of reasoning is that????????????? After talking about things he agreed with me that driving like this is dangerous, irresponsible, illegal, with only negative consequences for all of us and anyone he might hurt -- he doesn't disagree with me. For a few months the issue did not come up and I thought he had come to his senses. Then it happened again. The next morning I told him that if he drinks and drives and gets pulled over not to call me because I will not help him in any way.
A few months went by with no issue, then it happened again last night. I felt truly stunned. As soon as he walked in the door I knew he had stopped for a drink -- and when I asked him, he admitted to stopping for "a drink or two." He had those almost-slurred words, the glassy eyes, the goofy responses that weren't related to what I was saying, asking a question and then asking it again a few minutes later...................what to do what to do what to do.