Spouse wants to totally remove the un-addressed ADHD factor from counseling

I asked my spouse if he wanted to discuss his visit with a pastor last night. Before he left last night, he had told me he would tell me when he came home if he was going to stay or go.   I was 'assuming' he had gone because he was miserable.  Maybe hit bottom.

What he told me is the pastor said we needed to go to marriage counseling.  I replied that we have been going to counseling for the past umpteen years.  We also ended our last counseling sessions last January when we were both told we had things to accomplish before we could be helped.

then he said 1.  we need to go to counseling with a man.  2.  we needed to take the ADHD factor completely out of the counseling. 3.  we needed to focus on how horrible it is that in our marriage we have had no intimacy for three years.  I said that will be something to discuss because I have missed out intimate life to, to which he said"You hold that key.  YOU hold that key."


Oiy. Oiy. Oiy.