I have been thinking along the lines of couples who live very independently and couples who like to be together more - sharing their lives.  I watch "Wife Swap" when it happens to be on and I notice that in many marriages there is a difference in the amount of "togetherness" couples desire.  Sometimes it is both the people in the coupledom that like the independence and/or the togetherness and sometimes it is one or the other who like more independence from the marriage.  I would like to be together more with a husband. Dh has been independent of the marriage from the first day.   Dh keeps things from me and does not share ANY information about his doings when he is not at home. It feels like he is doing something shameful, or illegal or wrong when he is so secretive.  He does not have a place of business...he is a "salesman" from our home.....but he is gone every day.    I know that a wife could "get" the togetherness with her husband if she is more cuddly and smoochy but I feel used and uncared for when he does not make a living or has not put away money for our retirement and does not talk or share with me. Guys, if you don't carry the burden financially and don't share your life with us, don't expect the cuddly, smoochy from degrades you and us both.  So, the circle comes around that if he isn't getting the cuddles, he is not going to talk to me and share his life.  If he doesn't work and be financially viable and talk to me, I am not going to smooch.   Stalemate.......stale mate.