We are finally starting counseling tomorrow and I am very excited and hopeful about this.
Many of you may know 'our story' but we have been married for 13+ years and have always had 'issues' that I had no idea how to label or resolve. We went through some more stable periods and then we have been through some horrible periods, typically starting with some type of catalyst such as a lot of personal hardships (job loss, facing overwhelming responsibility, death of loved ones, etc). There has been a lot of dishonesty, disappointment, empty promises, and just flat out devastation in the last 6 years...which I think was a direct result of a short custody battle and us winning custody of my step-daughter. Neither of us knew what we were getting into, just knew we had to get her out of her situation with her neglectful and drug dependent mother. As our marriage spiraled out of control, so did his ADD, and the end result of 5 long years of fighting over SD and other various issues that were exacerbated as his ADD was going into overdrive, we finally separated..and he had an affair. He lost his mother, I lost my father, and it truly was one of the most horrible times in my life.
We hit rock bottom and decided to come up fighting...together. We reconciled last Dec and have been rebuilding since. He's happy to have the DX of ADD, but isn't thrilled about starting counseling, but is going and I know once he goes he'll be OK with it. The fear of the changes it will bring terrify him, I am sure.
It couldn't be coming at a better time, he has been behaving a bit different lately...well, it's familiar behavior..but it's still somewhat scary and hurtful. It involves him being threatened (because I just started back to school..on campus) and him withdrawing and being defensive in response to his fear.
Just keep us in your prayers....this is quite possibly our last hope. Our counselor has seen us a few times and when we got the DX of ADD we found out our insurance wasn't paying for her..so we had to get a balance paid off and she's seeing us at at 50% discounted rate. I am very grateful. She moved here from FL several years ago, and when she was in FL she ran a group therapy for adults with ADD. She said it was supposed to run for 6 months but that they made so much progress and loved it so much that they kept it going for over 2 years. It is a miracle itself to have found someone in our area who correctly diagnosed him AND who has experience treating it. I feel truly blessed.