This may not be the proper place to post about this, but it's a major source of frustration for me, plus it's depressing.
My house is a major mess. After everything I've read about ADHD I guess it's no surprise.
Two years ago the toilet upstairs started to leak. We found out water leaked under the floor tiles. We got a new toilet, and my husband started to pull up the tiles and removing panelling from the walls. He didn't get very far on that, so I finished it. So, the bathroom has no tiles on the floor, no panelling on the walls and is used as a junk room. So when his kids visit five of us are using the bathroom downstairs.
He installed a ceiling fan in our bedroom...mmm...about four years ago, but apparently something didn't work quite right and it still doesn't work. So we use two small lamps for light at night.
I started repainting the exterior window frames about four years ago (he didn't add my name to the deed so I don't consider this to be my house) got very little help from him, (he spent most of his time in front of the computer) and gave up. This caused a major fibromyalgia flare and it's been bad ever since. So...the wood has been exposed to the elements all these years and he's made no attempt to do anything about it.
We can't use the dining room table because he has so much piled on top of it. A good portion of it is mail, which hasn't been looked at. Piles of mail and paper surround the computer. So...some of the bills don't get paid on time. He won't share anything about the finances with me. I have no idea how much debt we're in.
There are piles in every room in the house. The kitchen counters aren't usable because they are completely covered. He used to do all the cooking, but gradually quit, which threw me off balance because I didn't know if I was supposed to start cooking or what. He used to love to cook. I think depression has something to do with this. The neutral cable leading to our house deteriorated to the point that we were having major surges in the house. Fortunately he figured out what was going on and turned off he power, but now the oven doesn't work. He says we don't have enough money to buy a new stove, but alot of money is being spent on plants.
Boxes are piled up in his kids room. When they came to visit for Christmas they had to share a bed in the spare room because crap was piled up on their beds. We didn't use use the dining room table for Christmas dinner. We sat on the couch in front of the t.v.
The room that is supposed to be my workroom is a mess because there isn't room for all my books and supplies.
I've tried talking to him about all of this, offered to help clean up, gotten mad, offered suggestions how it could easier to do all of this, and have decided to keep my mouth shut let whatever happens, happens. But it's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm living his life, not mine.