Still haven't found my own little corner

I am fairly new to posting on this site. But, I read a bit for a while before registering in order to post comments myself. However, the more I read on here, and the more I navigate my way around this site and the internet in general, the more isolated and separate I feel in my (I guess very unique) situation. I am an ADHD woman, married to an ADHD man and we have four children, all either diagnosed ADHD or showing all the signs but still too young for diagnosis. We have struggles in our marriage and our parenting and in life in general that are related to our ADHD. But, after scouring forums and websites and social media and blogs and organizations and every book about ADHD I can track down (including nearly all Dr. Hallowell's books and Melissa's book), I still can't find one that truly speaks to my situation. Everything I can find out there is directed to either the ADHDer, the parent of the ADHDer, the spouse of the ADHDer, or the couple where one is ADHD. Yes, all of these categories apply to me in part, but not to my whole situation. Am I the only person to have ever both *had* ADHD *and* been married to someone who also has it? Does anyone out there know of any resources or groups that are available for those of us trying to navigate through life in a marriage and family literally bursting at the seams with ADHD? Many of the struggles and advice I read about are applicable to me, but some very much are not. Some of the challenges we face in our relationship seem completely outside of what it appears the rest of you are experiencing, and well, I'm just looking for a place where I can feel like I am not the first to ever go down this path.