Hi All, I guess I'm writing this tonight just to update.. Basically i asked my DH to leave- because though I could and have taken many things that I feel were unkind, unfair, disconnected in our relationship- I had to pull the plug when his physical violence kept getting worse and I started to really fear his loss of control. He does not get it! He still blames me for "pushing him" to act the way he does. Its crazymaking- and for a long time I have been believing it. My friends and family have not been able to understand what I have been feeling -neither have I. I just know that this aspect has to stop- and he has certainly acted like he has given up on any emorional connection to me except for that which we have with the kids. He has been cruel and my codependency arched under the pressure. I guess if there were any hope at this point, it must come with some kind of tangible offering from him but I dont see it happening.So now I am just trying to get my bearings- and hopefully pull up the nerve (and stave off my paralyzing fear of being alone/failing financially/everything else) to move on...and like needsalife has said, deal w my DH not wantinng our relationship enough to work on it with me.