My husband has ADHD. I do not. We have two little kids. It's been a long, long road and things are not good. So he's on day 4 of trying Strattera. I was reading all about how alcohol can make things worse and we sat down last week and talked about it and we both agreed he wouldn't drink any alcohol for a few weeks after starting. But then on day 2 he drank three beers. I said the next day- wait a sec, I thought we both agreed. He said- I didn't think we made that official. OMG! I just nicely said, 'okay, I thought it was definitely official.' Then, we talked about it and agreed not for a few weeks.
So now here we are, two nights later, and we have a very rare (socially-distanced) date night with two good friends. He said, "so are you gonna be all mad at me if I drink a couple beers tonight?" Again- OMFG!! I nicely said, "Can we make that more of a team approach or partnership approach question?" Bec I actually agree with him. It took months to schedule this and the last time we did something like this was what a year ago? I mean it's rare. And I want to drink a glass of wine or something, too! But the approach. And now we're still arguing about it because he disagrees completely that he should even discuss it with me. He thinks what should happen is that we go and he drinks a couple beers and I don't worry about it because I trust that he's drinking less now that he's on Strattera. Again- OMG!!! I'm so tired of this ridiculousness. I'm so incredibly exhausted. To me, it's obvious that we'd check in about it because we just agreed no alcohol.
Background, by the way: not a big issue with alcoholism. A year ago I felt he was drinking too much like 3-5 beers/night over many hours and he's stopped doing that. He doesn't have any bigger issues with alcoholism like it impacting work, relationships. Back then, I mostly was worried about him staying up late then sleeping in which can happen regardless of alcohol. And just worrying it was exacerbating whatever other problems there are.
Can you tell me -have you as other couples approached meds as a team, where you write down reactions, etc? I totally get feeling sensitive about it, by the way, but 'are you gonna be all made at me if...' after we just made an agreement is so wrong. Any other tips welcome. Thank you.