Stressed and confused! Am I wrong in doing this??

Hey very helpful people,


  Well, quick update/recap: my adhd guy and I see each other as the loves of our lives. The kicker of course is our sex life has ground down to near zero [ he's taking anti depressants, which I'm all for, but does that mean everything has to stop?! ] we do next to nothing together, and lately he's been pulling insane all nighers and vampire hours. I've asked, I've written down, repeatedly, how important it is to spend some time together, as a couple, in ways that have nothing to do with housework or his issues. No go. Same for me asking him to take his meds on a regular schedule. 


 I don't want to live without him, but I can't live like this, either. This is horrible. I've decided to tell him tomorrow that this relationship can't continue if things don't change. He has tools - they must be used. Honestly I feel sick and petrified. There are many, many good qualities to this man and he works too hard so the last thing I want to do is inadvertently make him feel bad. 

As if on cue, yesterday I get a message from him saying he's feeling depressed, anxious, frozen, he is getting 'sick' again. I stressed out as I did not want to deal with a psychiatric emergency or severely depressed man again, alone. He has isolated from all friends and family. And then, the switcheroo - he came home with all sorts of little presents and a love note for me, and seems totally fine. 


 I am wondering if I am crazy, or if he is. I feel almost evil and unjustified in telling him our relationship might not make it. I wonder how much patience I should have. I wonder if I am doing the right thing! I feel like I can't tell my left hand from my right any more. 


 Anything anybody says will be most welcome. Bless you all,


rara avis