Struggling to Want to Move Forward

I have been married for almost 15 years and for the last 6 years we have really been struggling. I have only stayed for the kids and my son who also has many issues. Over a year ago our son who is now 7 was diagnosed with ADHD. We both knew without saying it, even the doctors pegged it by meeting my husband that it was coming from him. Typically,the way things have worked in our marriage the last six years is that nothing is really done until I am completely miserable and want out.

He is now finely looking into getting an official diagnosis and medication, which is good. But for me I think it may be too late. I am a successful teacher who manages her work life and home life for the most part pretty good. However, as far as an emotional connection with each other we do not really have one. I am not sure where to go from here and have started reading Melissa's book.

I am not sure I have the energy or drive left to go through the  frustration, hurt and anger I have experienced. I know it is going to take a lot on my part to move forward, but every time we have tried we have failed. I have respect for him as a man and a father, but I do not love him. I feel lost. At least because of this forum I do not feel alone.

I know logically divorce or separation would be very difficult on both of my children, but I am not sure I am ready to go through the starting lets try this now phase once yet again. After six years of this I am tired, drained, and lack a sense of hope. If you talk to my husband he is much more optimistic and believes this time, with treatment, it will work.

Thanks for reading this. I have never written on this forum before.