Stuck in different bubbles.....

I've been very driven the past several months to find answers....There is such a huge myriad of issues in our marriage relationships, that it has been super difficult for me to find the bottom line....Tonight I was reading some of melissa's comments, and other posters, as far back as 10 years....And the thing I keep hearing from the non's is, all the negative effects they are encountering because of the realities in their relationship attempts...Most of the books and articles I've read related to this subject (adhd and marriage) for the most part, is addressing these same topics....

The effects I read about seem directly related to the reality of the relationship....It seems to be close to the same for many.....Emotional issues....anger, bitterness, stress, frustration....Physical issues....fatigue, bad headache's (migraines)...Psychological issues....anxiety, PTSD, depression, eating disorders etc.....Why?...What is the bottom line that causes mostly healthy people, to end up suffering one or more of these listed issues?

My theory is, and I'm going to list multiple ways of saying it here....Even though we occupy the same space w/ our spouse (for the most part) we are suffering from, long term separation anxiety....It's the effects of being trapped in a different bubble from your spouse....The inability to attach to a long term/time mate....Everyone of us who are suffering this long term type of abandonment, know certain facts about it...1) No one in my circle (friends, and family) could ever truly understand, it has to be lived... 2) It's never going to change long term for most all us... 3) Because of denial, many of us will never be able to have a real conversation about real life, etc....... The effects of these facts on our minds, eccentuate the hopelessness we feel, which is my theory on why the outward damage to our emotions, body's and minds surface....It's like a black hole....we just spiral deeper and deeper into loneliness, and hopelessness....Places we weren't created to go, so the ugly effects end up being our daily battles....And that will never change as long as we are bouncing around in these un-attachable bubbles...Even though we have some good moments along the way, that reality just makes it worse on our minds....Hope where their is no hope....The dangling carrot effect.....

Can I prove my theory? Well, read the posts from people who have moved on, what are they saying about their quality of life?....What about those of us who have separated for a period, what are we saying about our overall health after breathing different air.... Am I saying this concept (theory) is effecting everyone who might be reading or posting here? No, I'm not, but, I know it's been my reality....All the work I've done toward acceptance, boundaries, parent/child etc, is for this purpose....To limit the damage on my person for choosing to stay in what is basically an un-attachable relationship.....

I'm getting more and more numb to any expectations......Which is good....I just try to be thankful for the good moments, but, accept that they will be fleeting....I'm no victim, and have found a way to fight the battle's, without (hopefully loosing site of self care in all area's of my life....That's good....I hope you guy's are taking care of yourselves.....Accepting reality, and our inability to change it, is a huge stress release! 

Be at Peace

Night c