I have so intensely focused on it for such a great amount of time, that I have to say I am at a loss to understand.
I have realized over the past few months that this is so very, very complex. I have some understanding. I have some experience. Raised up a son who gave me my first glimpse into ADHD. Saw possibilities. Know it just 'is,' and there are ways to find joy.
And it is way bigger than I am.
It is not at all that my efforts have been in vain. It is not that I am making a mess. It is not that my spouse is making a mess.
I just gotta step aside for a bit. Let it go. I do not know what it is like to have an ADHD wired brain. I do not know what goes on in anyone else's head but in my own. I am in a place that I fully got a grip on what it is like to see ADHD in action. I realize it is in my family's history - maybe in my own Dad, my own brother, my own Father in Law.
I found some limits that I have. For now, for a bit of time, ADHD will belong to my spouse. I gotta just sit back and allow him to work through what ever he needs. I choose not to be a hindrance.
My boundaries have been rechecked for rigidity. They are just right for me. They are firm. They may feel harsh. For me, they are needed.