The Subject of Change

While my wife is working to change some of her behaviors, she has also said to me a few times in the last couple of weeks that she it is wrong for me to want/expect her to change.  That I should just love her as the person she is, and that we should focus on the positive, spend time together doing fun things, etc.  I agree that we should focus on the positive and doing fun things, AND that we need to work to make some changes - both of us.  She is having a hard time, I think, becuase most, if not all, of the changes we are working on center around her ADHD-related behaviors and my response to them.  How do I respond to her comment - that it's not fair for me to expect her to change - in a way that is helpful?