Suicidal thoughts?

I am new to this; therefore, I am really sorry if this topic has been already covered. However, I had no where else to go and talk about it and the things are just getting worse... 
My partner and I live together for over 3 months now, when we used to live separately, everything was amazing. Of course we had our little arguments, but I thought it was normal in a relationship. He used to tell me about his ADHD before, but I never really knew anything about it. As soon as problems appeared, I started to research all of the information about ADHD but I couldn't find anything about my problem. I am used to to partner saying awful things when he gets angry, because I know for a fine fact it is hard for him to control it. However, my problems are his suicidal thoughts. They can come anytime! I even once had to hold my partner tight so he wouldn't jump off the bridge and take the rope from around of his neck so he doesn't hang himself. Situation like this, really gets to me. They happen more frequently, and I am always trying to keep him calm. However, sometimes he just runs out of the house and I don't know where he goes. So I just sit there and cry, hoping that he gets home alive.

My main question is, is there a high possibility of him killing himself because of ADHD? Or does he do it to get my attention? Well, I wouldn't say to get my attention, but he might be just hopeless and that's the only thing that he thinks about. 

In addition, he had a really bad childhood, and when I say bad... I mean bad :( 

I am desperate... Many thanks.... 

carathrace's picture

he needs to see a doctor NOW

Kaboom, your situation is more dangerous than you even realize.  It sounds like your partner has a mood disorder above and beyond ADHD.  The sudden violent mood swings could be something like bi-polar disorder.  He needs to see a doctor NOW.  You must convince him of the seriousness of this, and get him to at least a family doctor.  There are meds that can help him with the suicidal impulses, and he also needs therapy.  When someone attempts suicide or intends to, you don't delay, you get help right away.  Good luck to you, I wish you success in getting help for him.

Don't handle this alone

You need to get other people aware of what is going on and involved. Please don't try to handle this alone.

1/ Call a mental health hotline or hotlines, tell them what you have set out above and ask for advice regarding resources in your area.  Get as much information as you can.

2/ You don't mention if he is already registered with a doctor or psychiatrist.  If he is but refuses to take your advice to get to his doctor then is there someone else he trusts and will listen? Involve that person.  If he still refuses to take your or others advice (or instructions!) then you should already know what options may exist to help him from 1 above (the hotline calls).

3/ Until he is getting treatment be very careful where you go with him, always know the best route to get help if he tries to jump off another bridge etc etc. Don't go to isolated places unless you have to.  Be sure you know how to get to the nearest hospital with an emergency dept in case you have to drive him there. If he disappears for 24 hrs involve the police and make sure they know he may be distressed. Make sure you when you are out with him that you have a cellphone and that it's always charged so that you can call for help if needed.  You must involve other people when he attempts this behavior - IF in the best case (!) he is doing it to gain attention then you must show him that it is not acceptable behavior to frighten you in this way, that it will be taken as seriously as 'real' suicidal behavior, and that professionals WILL be involved.  (Get them involved anyway, he needs help that you cannot provide at this point).

The most important parts
- do not do this alone (even if he has begged you to keep it a secret)
- do it now and try not to feel that you are over-reacting, you're not.


It may be that he has another disorder, it may be that the stress of an up-close relationship (actually living together instead of dating) is causing him enormous anxiety and that he feels unable to cope. Right now the cause doesn't matter, he needs help first.