I stumbled upon this forum last night when I was searching out the terms "leaves garbage on the counter". I hit a new low these past two days because I'm pregnant with my second child and am a stay-at-home parent to a 2 year old and we were down with a horrible stomach virus. My house is in shambles from the past three days of illness. This is a huge road block to me because my brain becomes foggy when my house is a mess and I can't get any administrative work (taxes) done for our business when I can't concentrate. This is a daily struggle for me between living with a 2 year old and my husband, who makes bigger messes than the toddler. It's hard for me to understand how someone can't seem to find the garbage or the laundry hamper. Even when I make things as accessible as possible. It's hurtful because it feels so disrespectful. I have low energy due to pregnancy and I'm having a hard time keeping up. It takes so long to get the house in order and takes time away from constructive things I could be doing with our daughter or work for our business. Not to mention how hard it is to keep track of his keys and wallet because he can't ever put them in any of the designated places I've set up to try and help him.
I love the guy to pieces and we went through a big ugly year-long break up after 7 years when we were dating. So I know he's the one I want to be with after 12 years (this will be our 5th year of marriage). But what can I do to help myself out? I'm exhausted, lonely, and in survival mode. I don't have much to offer him with regard to affection because I feel totally burnt out at the end of the day and also bitter due to the extra work he creates for me. Our "alone" time is not quality time because he spends it watching tv and browsing YouTube and eBay. He explains it as a need for "me time" after working hard all day and he battles with anxiety. But his "me time" doesn't allow for quality time with me or his daughter. This is obviously another source of contention.
Thank goodness that I found this forum so that at least I'm aware of what I'm dealing with... That will help me process it all a little better and search out tools for better communication. But, I still need ideas on how to help myself stay afloat during my pregnancy. My family lives 1 1/2 away and we live in his small hometown, which I've managed to make acquaintances in the past 4 years but no actual "friends".