I'm rather new to the discussion, but here goes..
I've been married 10 years to a wonderful woman. She's highly organized, and I am highly not! ;) I have read Melissa's book, and see myself clearly. My wife brought this to my attention, and finally got the nerve to share with me...she thought I would be upset. I have met with a counselor, and done some preliminary testing, and results do NOT show ADD. Whether I have it or not, the symptoms and behaviors are the same. So - a couple of thoughts:
1) Medication is very appealing...I could probably do my work better, and see improvements in my marriage. I don't think it is a cure all, but I would certainly like to investigate the possibility.
2) If I'm not ADHD, are there other causes to investigate?
I can see that I have been very hurtful to my wife, without meaning to do so. I have a lot of work to do for someone who has put up with so much!! She deserves a better husband, so it's my job to be better.
Thanks for listening..