Teen tells us labeling food as helathy or unhealthy causes eating disorders

At least since they were 6 or 7, our now-14 ADHD (and other issues) kid has snuck unhealthy food into their room and binged.  For example, a box of chocolates or a gallon of ice cream would disappear and we would eventually find the empty container hidden in their room.  They are vegetarian, but they will not eat most vegetables.  They often eat ramen noodles; mac & cheese; and junk food.  They are still taking food up to their room, leaving uneated food and dirty dishes lying around, and drawing flies.  They also make really bad messes in the kitchen and don't clean them up.

A recent pediatrician visit found them to be 5'2" and 140 pounds.

When ever we try to discuss improving eating habits, they throw a tantrum and say that we (especially my ADHD wife, but they also blame me) are responsible for them having an eating disorder.  Part of this is blamed on my wife talking about their weight.  But they also say that labeling foods as unhealthy causes eating disorders.  For example, telling them that eating ice cream for dinner is not healthy causes eating disorders.  I try to explain that I need to avoid unhealthy foods because of my high blood pressure and cholesterol.  So salty and fatty foods are unhealthy for me.  I also try to explain that diet does not necessarily mean trying to loose weight.  I try to follow the DASH diet to improve my cardiovascular health.  When they complain that they should be able to be overweigh and they can be healthy and overweight, I try to explain that their is a difference between being overweight and eating nutritious foods vs. being overweight and eating junk food.

There was a horrible blow out about this last night.  It calmed down when they went to their room, but then my wife tried to go upstairs and talk to them.  Upset ADHD + upset ADHD = rapid escalation.