Forum topic: Tell me lies......

Thu Aug 6th, 2015 - 4:51am by Dipity

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD
I know he's lying about little unimportant things he thinks don't matter. He makes plans and forgets to tell me and then pretends he's just made them. Why not just say "forgot to say I'm doing x tonight" Drives me mental and I don't appreciate being made to feel like I'm going mad when I ask why he's behaving strangely, which of course is yet another lie!!!! Gah. I know I'm not going mad and I know when I'm being lied to. I know this is a symptom. I've asked him why he's behaving sketchy and he just denies it. We've been together 13 years, I know when he's telling porkies. What should my response to this symptom be?? Being pissed off and feeling hurt isn't going to help anything, I've given him calm opportunity to say he's just forgotten and that was met with another lie. I accept lowering standards on many things. But not where trust is involved. ***UPDATE SINCE ORIGINAL POST *** So I challenged him and now it's my fault! I've been accused of checking his phone (I don't do that) and still no admittance that he has lied! Now he's furious that I have questioned him. Obviously no talking about it until he is ready. I will not pursue as he has retreated.

Comments

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Sat Aug 8th, 2015 - 3:12am

When he accused you of checking his phone, then he's basically admitting that he must have had a text or something showing that the plans were made earlier.  

Dipity's picture

Submitted by Dipity on Sat Aug 8th, 2015 - 4:14am

Hello overwhelmed, I feel I share your screen name at the moment!! Well we went back to the couples seminar to try and get things back on track (well that was my reasoning to go back to it, so I could have a refresher on srr, look at how non adhd behaviour affects things, retrain myself. I thought perhaps I'm being perceived as parenting which caused the lie) Bad idea, he only wanted to go back so he could tell me "look at all the behaviour you are doing that is wrong" I guess in some way to justify his behaviour???? I want to learn more about me and how I can improve myself, but I'm not going to do so as a one way street. His perceptions are SO off I honestly don't know how to get back on track from here again.