tell me what led you to tackle your adhd please?

my husband sent me links to this site so i could understand his adhd. i have ordered one book and i'm reading lots of the tools and treatments. i have recognised i was being quite nasty to him, although i think most people would say objectively that i put up with a lot. i see that because i was asking for help, expecting him to pick up some responsibilities and getting angry when he didn't and especially when he broke promises that was making him feel guilty and overwelmed so i have stopped doing that.  but now he's got no interest in reading or trying any of the tools or treatments (other than his meds). it seems like now everything is ok for him so there's no problem and i guess that's the case. why would he try and make any changes? so have i made things worse? i'd love to hear from people who feel they have tackled their adhd (whether successfully or not) about what lead or motivated them to do so.