Temper Like a Tornado

My wife and I are recently married (2011). Before and after that, I have endured her explosive temper on more occasions than I can count. Most of the time it is over small stuff. For example, this morning I didn't give the cats enough food in their dishes, didn't let one of them drink water out of the bathtub faucet, and accidentally let one in our bedroom (shouldn't be in there). I was about to leave for work and she was still getting ready. She yelled at me for the cat food, cat water, and not getting the cat out of the bedroom immediately; that she would be late to work because of me. I just sat there and took it, resenting her for yet again blaming me for all the wrongs in our lives.

When she was done ranting, I apologized as I always do. She gets angry if I don't hear every word she says, don't cook right, and so many other things that deserve a simple comment instead of accusatory words and agitated emotions. We've been to counseling and read a few marriage books, but none have had much affect on these situations. The counselor thinks she has ADHD. He admitted to having it himself and after describing symptoms and behavior, my wife thinks she has it too. After meeting with him and reading about it on the internet, I am convinced she does. She would have tried Ritalin, but we are trying to conceive and she can't take it. So I look forward to getting yelled at every few days when I don't deserve such treatment.

What really kills me is that when she calms down later, she doesn't apologize. Sure, she can't help it. But it is rare that she apologizes for getting so upset over trivial things. I feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes over and over. But unless a mistake is very significant (left stove on which burned down house), no one deserves to be yelled at for making them.

I will get your book and see it if helps. When she yells these days, I feel emotionally beaten knowing I have to endure this treatment until I'm dead.