Before I came here I would go on other marriage websites and no one understood. I would post my problems and I got standard answers that my husband just needed to "grow up and be responsible." I knew there was more to it than that, but I couldn't explain to them how. All I ever heard was how I needed to divorce my irresponsible husband and move on.
Then I come here and people understand. I'm so grateful. I don't think I would have made it through this week without all your kind words, support, and empathy. Just knowing that I'm not alone and that other people have the same issues with their spouse helps me in a way that fills me with hope.
Whatever happens with the rent and the landlords, I am grateful that I opened up and shared because I needed all of your advice more than you'll ever know.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate it.
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Submitted by SherriW13 on
((((((((BIG CYBERHUGS)))))))
Honestly, listening to the book I have been listening to about co-dependency, it speaks of support groups as an absolute must. The author talks about a man who says he loves coming to Al-anon meetings because when most people in his life are sick of seeing him so messed up, he comes there and everyone is like "hey, glad to have you here! come in, sit down!" and I feel this group fills that need in many of our lives. Even when I go back and look over posts I made out of pure anger and frustration I see nothing but acceptance, advice, and support coming from such a warm, loving place. To be 'loved' when you're at your most ugly is invaluable...especially when so many of us feel so unloved so often.
I know what you're feeling. I relate to all you've been through this week. I lived waiting for the other shoe to drop for most of my marriage. There is a solution to this problem. Finances can be managed to the point that you at least can pay the bills and have peace of mind, especially since you are working and the sole source of income. You can do this. You're not a victim of his impulsivity, please don't see it that way. You just weren't proactive enough in ensuring that the rent check would clear. Spend $1 for a money order..it is such a small price to pay for peace of mind. I have given up the dream of micro managing...except when it comes to our finances. If we were rolling in dough, it would be different. We're not. Do what you have to do so that this issue becomes a dead issue. Let go of ANY guilt you might feel about it and just do it. You owe it to yourself and your kids.