Approximately 2 or 3 weeks ago my mother, sister and I were talking in the living room about how nice it would be to have Thanksgiving dinner at mine and my (ADHD)partners new house. He was listening from the office, being antisocial of course, and confronted me about it after they left.
Every week thereafter he brought up some negative about the dinner, many near miss arguments... How he doesn't think we should serve meat (we're vegetarian--but not strict vegetarian) how he's upset my family's just coming in here forcing their meat eating on us because my mom was going to come here to prepare the turkey... And then, finally, 3 days before the event he says he feels like I never discussed this with him... Everyone made the "plan" without him and he wants his family to come over the same night.
The way it stood, there was already going to be 10 of us (too many)... with his family we'd have to make room for 5 more... and there isn't any room. Also, his mother and sister work on Saturdays... Our families have never met and I always thought we'd have a more intimate "just our parents and us" sort of night for that occasion.
The fight we had was out of control. For 5 hours he text messaged me at work... I left him out, they're forcing meat on him, he wants his parents, I never asked him if we could have the dinner... etc, etc. Obviously feeling disrespected and left out of the event but over reacting HUGE as there was nothing to get that upset about!
We had a big blow out by the time I got home because I kept giving him solutions to his sad feelings, but they weren't good enough and every ten minutes he came around to antagonize again. Whenever I would just remain silent to try to avoid the fight he would say "oh, see, you're not answering now because you know I'm right..." and I would feel compelled to correct him and join the fight again.
It ended up (4 hours later) with me screaming on the top of my lungs to LEAVE ME ALONE!!! And that I thought he was sick and needed help! Damaging words, I'm sure, but I'm not quite sure what the hell I'm suppose to do when things get like this. There's no helping him when he's in one of these "moods".
I already knew it was going to be "one of those days" as he woke up more miserable than usual and he was picking fights all morning.
I don't care if he has ADHD or not.... This is mental! I told him, through email, that he needed some serious help for his insecurities and EVERYTHING else related to his ADHD. If he didn't decide on getting some help I'm leaving!
I love him but this is just f'ing ridiculous! I'm not sure what he expects from a partner but I'm pretty sure I'm beyond burnt out trying to deal with his crap (or not deal with it)...
I'd like to also add that he didn't even know it was Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, all he does is sit at his computer all day and night and if it was left up to him we'd do nothing, AND he doesn't talk to his parents because it makes him uncomfortable... so he only text messages or emails them (rarely). I was shocked he all of a sudden wanted them here for a Thanksgiving he all of a sudden gave two shits about!
Please help me.