I have recently moved back in with my husband after a 1 year separation. We've been married for 13 years and don't have kids. He's very high functioning ADD and was diagnosed last year. Since I've known him for 25 years, I always knew he had extraordinary struggles with procrastination, closure and deadlines, but I didn't really understand it was because of the way his brain worked until the past year or so.
I recently read your book and found it profoundly helpful. I've stopped nagging, started positively reinforcing more more frequently and practice the focused communication technique with him.
However, after several weeks back in the house, my depression is starting to get the best of me as I feel despairing of getting the attention I need. He has not found medication or therapy that works for him and has stopped working on that.
I've been in therapy before with different therapists who advised me to leave my situation or leave my spouse, but although I've left, I still love him and would prefer to spend my life with him.
I'm very strong willed and selfish on the one hand, but on the other hand we are both in career transitions and have been ineffective in supporting each other to undertake new directions with our careers.
I would appreciate any advice about finding a therapist who understands marriage and ADHD in the Washington DC or Maryland Suburban area. I already have a good doctor.
Thanks for sharing your frustrations and successes - it really gave me new hope.