I have been reading all of the posts here and decided to write my own story. My native language is not English, so I apologize if I make any grammatical mistakes. We have been together with my ADHD husband for 7 years. He was diagnosed with ADHD in his early 20s and right now he is 37. All of these years he has been seeing a therapist and use medication both ADHD meds and antidepressants. His ADHD is usually combined with severe depression. He is incredibly emotional and feels like he only 'feels' and never actually listens to logic and I end up appearing the logical emotionless person. All of these years I have tried to learn and come to terms with what it is like to be in a relationship in this toxic dynamic. The thing that worsened our relationship is that he is unemployed for almost 4 years. He is looking, searching, 'working' on applications etc. but no luck. He instead 'focuses' on daily chores. He cooks, tidies around, walks our dog, do the grocery shopping, laundry... He is so particular about all these things that when I do any of these he starts to criticize me, so I gave up on most of these, he is doing them anyway and to be honest, even when I tell him to spend his time to more useful things, he gets upset. Due to the ADHD, a simple laundry takes hours and hours. And then in the end he says he did it, yes he did but wasted that time as well. We cannot communicate, he is living a very isolated life with his headphones on all the time. We no longer spend time together, not even watch a movie or eat dinner together. We do not have sex, maybe once every 6 months. I couldn't have imagined we would end up like this. In the beginning our life was full of fun, socializing etc. and now he doesn't even have a single friend to talk to. His self-esteem got lower and lower and eventually my respect for him decreased as well. He has a bog heart, I love him, I know he loves me too, which makes it hard for a decision towards divorcing.
Anyway, I do not want to bore you but I guess my question is should I end this before I have kids and years pass.. Even now it feels incredibly hard for me to end it, but if it is inevitable, the sooner will be the better? I am anxious all the time, have panic disorder, try to deal with my own personal problems and to be honest this situation makes it harder especially on my panic attacks and daily anxiety. The fact that he has been taking meds and seeing a therapist for more than 10 years makes me lose hope for any betterment.