OK I goofed. Typed it in wrong place....don't know how to fix it....never mind. I hate computers....I just wasted 2 hours of my life for a brief post...WTH!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I think I fixed it! ......I still hate computers......
Please know I am vocalizing from my OWN experience here with this topic. I have read, studied, explored, sucked in, spit out, changed views, embraced new knowledge and held on to my own sanity(not by by own strength but HIS) through this "maze" of ADHD.
I read something in the weekly marriage tip(June 6,2016) tonite and it struck a not so nice chord with me. So I thought and thought, fumed a little, calmed down, took a deep breath.....and here is my stance.....
. I do not have ADHD. I do not hold ANYONE with ANY ....shall we say "differences" in a negative view. We ALL have qualities, abilities and traits AS human beings. I, too, have most of the good characteristics of ones with ADHD.....so.....? I also have some of the not so good facets....but do I lose my mind about it? or DO something about it? This is the part that got me perplexed UNTIL I realized why. The question "How might you be more compassionate"? is asked. I don't know if it is directly related to the ADHD or just in general and that is when the light bulb went on .....
The reality of "non perfect" in all of us is a given. The ability to love the "unlovable"(and THERE are THESE kinds of people) requires a very strong, deep over abundance of compassion. (I am not just talking about ADHD here tho it is included).
There is a saying......you cannot help those who will not help themselves. And then there is the other......to help those who cannot(in a moment or for a period of time) help themselves.
This is where I place "dealing" with ADHD. I am more than willing to put time, effort, money,WHATEVER into relationship with anyone.....who realizes there is an "issue" that inhibits that relationship.
There is a HUGE difference in honest acknowledgement of ADHD and denial. There is most definitely success and it doesn't take YEARS of unending meltdowns, scowling, financial stupidity, you said I said crap to see that SOMEONE doesn't really believe they have a "bit of an issue".
So for me.....I can have enduring compassion (as I hope they would for me) for anyone acknowledging "difficulties" they are facing BUT are, at heart, giving it their best shot. The problems ADHD causes when it is discovered and denied is MORE of an issue, in my view, than having ADHD. In other words....you have ADD? Tell me what it's like?........and if all they do is talk about the "funny side" and offer nothing in sincerity on the "down side"......they are not helping themselves or us who need to be aware of the existence of this particular "issue".
I believe it's true.....you cannot help someone.....WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE HELPED and that is sad.....and we can move on from sad.....and still have compassion.....from afar.
So many on the forums are still, after years and years, trying to make relationships "work" with denied ADHD. Having compassion for oneself .....hmmm?
Again this is my take at this moment and I would love to hear other thoughts and views on this.
P.S. I do not understand the "delimiter"?