Been with the ADHD man a year. During this time he's been settling a high conflict divorce, been to psych ward twice as not on correct meds.
Of course the relationship was amazing for long enough to hook me in but it's mostly been drama and pain and our living together is marred by the usual ADHD conflicts over mess, chores, rejection sensitivity and molehills becoming mountains within seconds. I have compassion fatigue and lost the capacity to deal with his regular black moods and outbursts. He's always asked me for a lot of help but recently tells me off for giving too much advice and 'parenting.'
He started reading Melissa's book after I read it, but said the parts on abuse were too traumatic because his former marriage was abusive. We had a session with a couples therapist and he (therapist) encouraged me that it was a safe space to discuss my anger and frustrations. He was mostly silent. Afterwards, my partner refused to speak to me for days. Unless I'm 100pc sunshine and roses he can't cope.
He has no friends, no close family (I am lucky to have both.) He eats badly and never exercises and can't sleep.
There's a lot of good in this man. He's intelligent, witty, musical and artistic and holds down a high paying job. He'll do any practical job I ask him to and is always fixing up my house. He doesn't take any drink or drugs and tries really hard to manage himself better.
What am I waiting for though? Will it ever get better and if so how? What should I do to protect myself? When he stonewalls me and retreats I'm really anxious and sad.