My husband had no problem embracing the ADHD diagnosis once it was suggested. We had problems getting him on meds and lots of problems with side effects of those meds. He's on something that works for him now [more or less]. We've done counseling, etc and at the beginning, he read some books.
But now he's tired of hearing about it. He feels he's done dealing with it, I guess. I know I think about it a lot more than he does. I gave him a print-out of Melissa's article about "the three-legged stool" and he looked at it briefly and handed it back to me.
The meds have made a difference in that he now works [he went 3 years without working] so that's big. But as far as remembering things, doing household chores, etc..... nothing is different! He expects me to treat him like a hero for cookiing dinner [I get home from class at 9, does he really want to wait to eat for me to cook after that?] but he leaves the packages and dishes for me to deal with. We never talks about anything.
His latest thing is that he wants to go to graduate school. This will require him to quit his job [he's not making that up; they do require an unpaid full-time internship] and so when I graduate, I have to find a job that offers benefits and makes enough to support us. After I supported him for 3 years when he refused to work. I am lucky in that he has no problems with addiction or inappropriate spending,
I get nothing out of this marriage except that he is temporarily supporting me while I go to school full-time. No sompassion, no help, my needs [personal and medical] are not met, double the amount of work. It's like being married to a stranger.
Is this as good as it gets? Is there anything I can do to get back the sweet, attentive man I was dating? Or should I just my losses and live alone the rest of my life? I know about hyper-focus; is there a way to get him to hyper-focus on me again [or at least pay some attention to me], or does that always end when they get what they want from you?