Is there hope? (Does medication help with emotional regulation)

Hi, first of all, I'm so happy to have found this forum. Your stories and advice come very handy to address my personal situation. I've been in a relationship with my partner who i believe has adhd. He very often gets upset about trivial things, starts to blame and bash about me, and keeps on pushing my buttons until i explode. Fights used to escalate with me screaming at him, with a period where i slapped him out of frustration. Luckily i stopped doing that but started to slap myself because he made me feel so shitty about myself. We tried code words, me walking away (but then he chases me), me trying to reason with him (but he just needs that explosion). Nowadays, i just stay quiet, i take whatever he throws at me and just hope the situation does not get worse. It goes without saying that my self esteem is being imoacted by the constant bashing. We have faced huge changes in our family situation recentand this brought up a wave of harshness i had never experienced before. It took me some time to find a rational explanation for his behavior other than he is a bad guy. I tried to convince him to get an adhd diagnosis but he refuses to do so. Right now we are debating whether we should go to relationship therapy (preferably with someone who has experience with adhd), but before we give it another go, I'd like to have your opinion: suppose my partner would face his responsibility and get an adhd diagnosis, suppose he tests positive, is there any chance he will get his emotional outbursts under control? I heard in a podcast that only pills can solve these outbursts, that cognitive behavioural therapy is not enough. Is that true? And are pills really able to solve the outbursts?  I'd also love to hear some positive relationship stories with adhd-ers if there are any. With the big changes and the constant bashing, i feel completely drained. Of course, this post only talks about emotional outbursts, the issue of hyperfocus is another change in our relationship. I feel so utterly hopeless. Thanks in advance for your advice.