I'm hoping someone can shed some light on my situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We are both divorced with children (he has 2 girls and I have 2 boys). He is truly an amazing and wonderful person, father, boyfriend, son, uncle and brother. If I wrote down everything I wanted in a boyfriend he was it.
He always felt he had some type of ADHD as a child but never went to a Dr. about it. Growing up and as an adult everyone around him just thought he was forgetful or just being "Gary" so it was never an issue for him. He is a fantastic teacher and the go to guy whenever something needs to be done in school. I'm not sure what happened but one day he came home and said he wanted to talk to a Dr. to see if he should be on medication. Sure enough he met with 2 psychologists who agreed he does have adult ADHD and would benefit from medicine. They gave him a prescription which he never filled. And life went on as normal. (HIS NORMAL)
After 6 years of dating we decided to bring our families together and he and his daughters moved into the apartment my boys and I lived in. After 3 years of living together we decided we needed to buy a house because our kids were outgrowing our 3 bedroom apt. So a year ago we bought a house. That's when things started changing.
From the day of the move there was a constant level of him starting to do things and then calling one of the kids to come help him with something and then he would start something else and leave the kids to not know how to finish his project so things were left undone. Which caused mass confusion within the whole house. This went on for a week and nothing has been completed. So then I start trying to clean up and finish his projects which frustrated me because I was trying to finish my own projects. Then the financial worries began so he picked up more hours doing afterschool programs and ESL programs everyday. Which gives him little to no time to relax in his way which is normally playing softball or football. I could tell he was becoming resentful and very closed off to me. When I asked him to talk to me he would just say "every things fine don't worry nothings wrong " Well 2 weeks ago he comes home and tells me that the house has pulled us into different directions and he no longer wants the house or to be with me. He's fully detached from me. I know for a fact this is not about him and I. We don't fight and we are a really great couple together.
I started doing research and came upon this book "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" and I was practically reading pieces of my life in this book.
My question is.......Once someone with ADHD makes this choice can it ever be rectified if he doesn't see that his choice has anything to do with his ADHD?