My ADHD fiance was fired from a good job shortly after we started dating. I didn't expect it to be long before he had another, but he refuses to apply for positions, even when I find them for him. He says he cannot cope with jobs that provide no meaning for him. I get that. I really do. I used to work for myself doing something I loved and I had to quit and get an office job because I needed more money coming in. I like the folks I work with, but the job has nothing fulfilling about it other than a decent company with decent people and a paycheck. It's not my first choice, but it is necessary.
He has always found jobs by word of mouth. He refuses to accept that sometimes you have to go looking to get a job. He won't look at Indeed or Monster, but I do. Unfortunately this means I am supporting him. If he lived the way I do I would manage to do that okay, but he doesn't. He wants his Red Bulls - at least 3 a day. He wants to eat what he likes... no rice and beans because I am broke. He wants to go out to eat. And he never orders the inexpensive meal. He wants what he wants, and when he doesn't get it he gets angry, although he always says it's not at me. he still yells and throws things. I have exhausted all my credit cards (and am being turned down for new ones) trying to keep us afloat and I can't do it anymore. I have nothing left to give. Literally nothing left. Bank account is empty. Credit is maxed. I already have 2 jobs. I'm looking for a 3rd job. I'm exhausted.
This morning I found out he has been turned down for a job that he was very qualified for and wanted very badly. I haven't told him. I don't know how to tell him. He's going to get mad. I suspect the contacted his previous employer who says he wasn't fired but quit voluntarily by not getting help for his ADHD. He's back on his adderall (sp?) now. Not that I can tell a difference other than his memory is better. But because of his former employer he can't get a job in his field. And he won't take a job that he doesn't want, which is any job that isn't in his field. Or any job in his field that requires travel. And I'm trying so hard not to push, because I'm not his mom. But he's spending my money, not his. And I'm totally exhausted from trying to keep us afloat. And we're sinking. Fast. And he won't take a job that is "beneath" him. And I don't know what to do.
Please I beg you don't even respond if you don't have anything constructive to say. My one post I made before in this group I was totally ripped apart by the ADHD side, and told to leave him by the non-ADHD side. I'm not doing that, by the way. But if you have figured out how to communicate with your spouse successfully about this sort of thing I am looking to find out how you did it. I will not accept that this is hopeless. He's a wonderful human being. And we have lots of fun, and we adore each other. There's got to be hope.