Our relationship has been better in terms of patience and attitude in the last couple months ever since ADHD dh agreed to go to see an ADHD doctor (long story short, he's got his first appointment next week). I know dh is trying, and now I find myself finding myself angry at the very things he is improving on.... !! It's very frustrating for me and it annoys him when I remind him he should try to do the same for me, as I do for him.
It is mainly in the area of opportunities and doing things together. I have mentioned in earlier posts -- in the 20 years we've been together, we have never gone to any kind of event that I've suggested or that we've agreed on (concerts, broadway shows, theater, opera, major league sports, museums, etc). This morning, he called me from work all excited about tickets to see a comedy act. It is his favorite comedian of all time, and he wanted us to go. When he watches this comedian on TV, I am not allowed to say a word while he's watching. He will shush me to death. Anyway, I went ahead and purchased the tickets online but all the while I was feeling more and more upset and angry with my husband who was on speaker phone monitoring my every move. So, I purchase the tix, print them, and then I need to call our babysitter. All he's doing is on the other end micromanaging me and telling me what a great guy he is for getting us to go to this event.
I got real snippy at him, telling him how I take care of his needs at a drop of a hat, but would he ever do the same for me if there was something *I* wanted to do as a couple? Because whenever I come up with something, it's always countered with something else, or brushed aside. The last time I suggested going to the ballgame one train ride away with the kids, he said he'd rather see another team, which meant a couple extra hours of transportation to get to the other stadium. Guess what, we not only missed the initial ballgame I suggested, we never went to see the one he said he'd absolutely take us to.
See what I'm getting at?
I'm sure it's all the pent up anger and frustration I've got. 20 years' worth of *messing* around like that. And of course, the comedy event is happening locally the week I was hoping to travel as a family. I went along with the tickets because I knew it's now or nothing for a long time.... he really isn't aware that I don't really want to go to a comedy club after nearly 20 years of nothing. I guess I'm afraid it will be so intense after such a long time of nothing, and out of my comfort level. But I need to grab the chance because I don't think I'll be going anywhere else...
How can I deal with my anger??? I should be happy, but I've got unresolved anger!!!